Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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