I wanna bring you to show and tell
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize