We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
