You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
that may or may not have been my penis.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
