do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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