This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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