We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
