Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bcm151 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.

Fav 51 3900 904
share tweet
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

Fav 27 777 3543
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(985): View more from Louisiana

Four minutes until I can fart!

Fav 11 1387 3588
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?

Fav 24 5523 1299
share tweet
(936): View more from Texas

you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

(1-936): View more from Texas

I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

Fav 19 10539 1294
share tweet
(818): View more from California

Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.

Fav 4 6021 1755
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

Fav 36 10568 3673
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.

Fav 6 740 2635
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

Must lick fork, like it's a DICK

Fav 0 39 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT