All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
