The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
