He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
