you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
