Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
