i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
