For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
