What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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