She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
