i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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