woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize