i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
