I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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