Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
