If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize