You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
