The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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