i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
All the doctor said was why
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
