I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
