I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
