did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
