What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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