I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
