I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
