Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
