he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
