if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
