thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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