Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
