ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
