All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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