The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
