Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
