I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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