K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
