no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
