People with herpes should wear stickers.
Come see our sink grown plant.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
