you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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