i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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