Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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