the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
