I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
