I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
