Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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