we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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