We named our party play list daddy issues
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
