Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
