Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize