walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You are the jesus of drinking
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
