Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
