that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
