the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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