Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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