i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
