i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have aggressive nipples.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize